2004 Golf Rule Book Proposed Changes

Rule #1: A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and
placed on the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled into
the rough with no penalty. Senior players should not be penalized for
uncontrollable mechanical phenomena.

Rule #2: A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree.
This is simply bad luck and luck has no place in a scientific game. The
player must estimate the distance the ball would have traveled had it not hit
the tree and can play the ball from there.

Rule #3: There shall be no such thing as a lost ball. The missing ball
is on or near the course and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone
else, making it a stolen ball. The player is not to compound the felony by
charging him or herself with a penalty stroke.

Rule #4: If a putt passes over a hole without dropping in it is "deemed
to have dropped." The law of gravity supersedes the law of golf.

Rule #5: Putts that stop close enough to the cup that they can be blown
in, may be blown in. This does not apply to balls more than three inches
from the hole. No one wants to make a travesty of the game.

Rule #6: There is no penalty for so called "out of bounds." If
penny-pinching golf club owners bought sufficient land, this would not occur. The
golfer deserves an apology, not a penalty.

Rule #7: There is no penalty for ball in a water hazard as golf balls
should float. That they do not is a technical problem that manufacturers have
yet to overcome. Golfers should not be punished for manufacturer's
shortcomings.

Rule #8: Advertisements proclaim that golf scores can be improved by
purchasing new clubs, balls, shoes, etc. Since this is financially
impossible for the average senior golfer, a stroke per hole may be subtracted for using old
equipment.
 
Now that you understand these more sensible rules, go out and enjoy the
game!